I know a little bit about insecurity.
Actually, that’s an understatement because if there was such thing as an Insecurity Expert, I’ve basically earned a Ph.D. or something.
The good news for you is, I’m real-life proof that just because you live steeped in insecurity today, does not mean you’re doomed to that life forever. Ideally I could tell you that my own path from insecurity to freedom was instantaneous.
But it wasn’t.
It’s an ongoing growth process where those “less than” feelings are shed layer by layer.
Maybe you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, and that’s fantastic. However, if insecurity is your standard MO, then the following experiences may be familiar:
–Insecurity walks into a room, and a familiar wave of “not belonging” begins to fill up your gut.
–Insecurity reminds you that you don’t fit in this place…with these people.
—Insecurity convinces you that every eye is on you, picking apart all your inadequate pieces.
–Insecurity whispers that you’re wrong in all the right places, like an uncomfortable waistband that squeezes around your center. (Insecurities about the central region are the real deal, mind you.) (Which is why Spanx generates billion dollars in revenue.)
—Insecurity reads between the lines of every word spoken, and hyper-focuses on how others interact with you (their tone of voice, body language, etc.). You’ll use this info later in your obsessive mental replay.
–Insecurity takes the words of others and twists them to confirm that you are wrong, good for nothing, and “less than” everyone around you.
When you carry insecurity in your heart, you carry insecurity with you into every room, every situation.
Is this really how Jesus people are meant to live? Didn’t Jesus say that we’re worth a whole lot? Didn’t he prove we’re worth a lot more than human opinions when he died for us? I mean, that’s kind of a big deal.
So how do we live like that’s really true?
You can’t fix insecurity with a pill, essential oils, or shopping. (Not that I know anything about that.)
Victory over insecurity requires that you have some face time with God. God’s view of you is reality. But if you don’t know what He says…then how can you live out the truth?
3 Ways to Answer When Insecurity Calls
(1) Catch & Release.
No, I’m not a fisherman, and I don’t play one on tv. But still. This is the perfect visual for this particular thought process. Here’s what it looks like:
When you notice that insecurity feeling, catch it. Then instead of toying with it, hold it up and ask God to show you what truth looks like in the current situation.
Then release the thought, and hold onto to the truth instead.
It’s not a one-time thing (any kind of change for the better rarely is). But y’all: this is the kind of Real Life Change we want. If we train our minds to process thoughts like this…we’ll be straight up living in the freedom that’s already ours in Christ.
Here’s a handful of truth to keep in your back pocket (and there’s much more where it came from):
- You are loved and accepted by the One who matters most. (Ephesians 1:5-7, Ephesians 2:4-5).
- God gives you strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25), therefore you are valuable and worthy of respect.
- You are God’s work of art. (Ephesians 2:10) (This is more than a Christian-y motto: it’s WHO YOU ARE.)
Don’t hang all this Jesus truth in the closet like a sweater with the tags still on it. Put the truth on, for crying out loud. Because the truth will change your life, but if you refuse to wear it…well, that insecurity isn’t going anywhere my friend.
2) Stop trying to play Fixer-Upper on your feelings. (I mean, hello, that hasn’t exactly worked out so well…)
Sometimes we tend to ignore the insecurity…or we stuff it, mask it, or try to buy our way out of it (new clothes, new house, new stuff). But the *feel good* will wear off the temporary fix, and we still have the chronic insecurity thing wrecking havoc on the inside.
Instead of fixing it your own way, ask God what it’s all about. He can shine light on the real source and help you deal with it in truth.
(3) Click *EXIT* on the mental replay.
This is sort of like catch-and-release, but not exactly. Here, you flat out refuse to keep playing *that conversation* or *that situation* in your mind.
When we shut down on the mental replay, the perceived slights and insecurity-skewed views don’t have a change to spin around and create chaos. (And hey, when that annoying pop-up asks if you’re sure you want to exit, hit YES for pete’s sake.)
It sounds pretty easy tucked into a numbered list, but this is one of the hardest battles I’ve ever faced. Time and time again I’ve had to stick my nose in scripture and beg God to give me His perspective so that I wouldn’t fold up into my own shaky self esteem.
But watch out, world. Because when we apply God’s truth to our insecurity, we will be unstoppable. And friend, that’s exactly what God wants for you.
Will you believe it or not?
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