If you and I are Facebook friends, you may have seen the sadness I posted last night. The sadness that was last night’s dinner, that is. I would re-post the picture here, but honestly, it’s gross and you might be reading this at lunch or something.
Suffice it to say that when I put the roast in the crockpot, I didn’t remove all the packaging. And lo and behold, your impression of my organic farmhouse life has officially flown out the window.
Because we obviously don’t raise pigs or whatever it is that makes for roasted meat. I’m going to feel really dumb if roast comes from another animal, but I’m too lazy to google that right now.
All I know is that I’m really awesome when it comes to cooking mishaps. When people say that my kitchen skills make them feel so much better about their own…well, I’m pretty sure they aren’t suggesting I should have my own cooking show.
I’ve thought about taking a class or something, but honestly, no. I have zero interest in that. (It would make for a great reality show though, right? Sort of like a rag to riches, culinary style.) Yeah, no.
There are times I semi-regret my transparency about the TOTAL LACK of savvy when it comes to the cooking and baking thing. Because on my Gift-Giving List, next to the names of Luke’s teachers, our neighbors, our church staff, and various friends, it says “baked goods”.
Which, you know, might not be so exciting for them. But this sure is a prime example that it really is better to give than receive.
I mentioned a few times last week that I hadn’t even started the whole Christmas shopping thing yet. So I’ve spent most of this week taking care of all the last minute Christmas preparations.
And when I say last minute, I really mean I’m evidently trying to load all the other minutes into to the very last ones. Because what makes last minute Christmas shopping so awesome is that you literally get to pay for procrastination in the form of expedited shipping fees.
(But those fees are worth every penny if it saves me from the bad attitude that malls and slow drivers inspire within my impatient soul.)
Joy to the world.
Did I tell you my mother-in-law is here this week? Well, she is; and thankfully, she and I don’t have the (typical?) mother-in-law issues. She has been the greatest gift to me, and our relationship is extra-special. But, oh my. She gives me so much writing material.
She just makes my heart happy with laughter all the time, that I have to be cautiously sensitive to what might come across as laughing at her. (Does that make sense?)
Because the last thing in the world I want to do is make fun of her; but I get sheer delight out of her similarity to Aunt Bethany on National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
Because Mom Dalke is so very much like sweet Aunt Bethany.
Larry: “Amy, do you like the Fitbit with the watch display?”
Mom Dalke: “No, I’m not watching anything. You can change the channel.”
Indeed. And there’s so much more where that came from. My favorite statement by far, though, was this:
“You know my son, Larry? He is such a negative person.”
Yes, I know that Larry guy; and I spend a quarter of my life asking Jesus to color his glasses with at least a tiny shade of rose. Eh, I shouldn’t really say that. (Because Larry’s discerning perspective balances my pipe dreams very well. He’s pretty much my saving grace.)
So yeah…too bad Mom Dalke hasn’t taught me how to cook. Speaking of that, though, you might pray for a Christmas miracle in my kitchen today, and wish all my precious gift recipients lots of luck.
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