If you’ve ever thought something like, “I sure wish someone would read this blog post to me so I could [focus on driving/fix my hair/pack these lunches]…,” then you are a winner today. Because yes, of course I would LOVE to read to you! So here’s the deal – you can…
- LISTEN to me read the post to you while you follow along.
- Listen to me read while you drive, fix your hair, or pack lunches!)
- Just read it like usual.
- (Your 4th choice is to bail now before the excitement overtakes you.)
To listen…press PLAY below. (That would be the triangle thing, Dad.)
I threw a Jesus Juke at Luke the other day. And if you aren’t familiar with this term, then let me make your life better.
According to Jon Acuff, a Jesus Juke is when someone takes a normal conversation and brings Jesus up out of nowhere. These jukes are typically made when you want someone to know you have some kind of holy superiority or something.
For example, you say, “I can’t wait to go to the Astros game after church today.” And your friend’s response is, “What if you were as excited about Jesus as you are the Astros?”
(You have to admit, that’s sort of fantastic.)
So one afternoon last week, Luke was all talking like he’s the boss or something. I can’t remember the exact situation, but his attitude and tone of voice were not conducive to an after school chat with his mother.
After a word of warning, he made the unwise choice to continue acting like a punk. So I gently placed my mixing bowl on the kitchen counter (because Betty Crocker, of course), and calmly said something to suggest he might lose a privilege or a life if he didn’t come downstairs immediately.
Because I’m always looking for a character shaping lesson, this came out of my mouth:
“Do you think Jesus would talk to his mother like that?”
As soon as I realized what I said, I couldn’t even keep a straight face. So instead of having any sort of late 80‘s sitcom-style teachable moment, I burst out laughing and told him he’d just been Jesus Juked.
I can’t decide if it’s more pathetic that I used Jesus to guilt my child – or that I’m actually telling you about it. But at least I’ve taught Luke a way to identify self-righteous behavior. (Right? Maybe? Let’s go with that.)
In other exciting news, we went to watch his All-star team take pictures on Friday night. I say that with every bit of sarcasm you can imagine. Because yes, his team did have pictures on Friday night. And yes, we did take him. But I didn’t realize what A Thing this really is.
In fact, I assumed it would be the perfect opportunity to get some reading done. So I hung out in the truck with a book.
Until Larry texted me to ask if I was going to get out and watch…pictures. I mentally rolled my eyes and thought he had to be joking. Watch. Pictures?
But I got out anyway, because I didn’t want to be That Mom who doesn’t love her kid enough to watch a photography session.
And indeed. It was A Thing. Granted, being picked for the All-Star team is pretty cool and all; and it was neat to see all the boys suited up together while their uniforms were still clean. But this whole scenario confirmed that we parents take this thing a little overboard.
Of course I can’t point fingers since I joined right in the sea of iPhone cameras aimed to capture a memory on a 3.5 inch screen.
And after that awesomeness, I’m not sure how the weekend got any better. Nonetheless, since I have you on the edge of your seat and everything, here’s the rest of the weekend highlights:
- Larry and I went to Costco on Saturday afternoon because we weren’t smart enough to remember that going to Costco is the dumbest choice ever for a Saturday afternoon.
- At church on Sunday, my friend Rose Mary gave me this:
This is a timing device with a built-in strap which will no doubt change my culinary life. Because now I can walk around and forget that eggs are boiling or cookies are baking, and this life-alert-buzzer-thing will save us. It’s like Jesus for baked goods.
Prepare to be amazed, people.
Also, I vicariously purchased Larry’s Father’s Day present (through Larry himself) because he finally decided to buy a Traegar grill. I tell you this because I need you to understand the analytics behind every purchase Larry makes. Get out your spreadsheets and your Google, and let’s do some research.
(This is why I love him, and it’s also evidence that we approach things differently.) (Says the woman who dropped $53 at Hobby Lobby earlier today on last minute craft ideas.)
Really, I’m sure you can hardly handle one more word about this glamorous weekend.
Basically I can’t either, so I’ll stop now. (Also, reading this to you has made me realize I probably need to get out more.)
I’m sure I’ll have more fantastic stories to share later this week. Although I can’t promise they’ll compare to Jesus Jukes or Kitchen Timers with Straps. (Insert eye-rolling emoticon here.)
Stay tuned. You surely don’t want to miss anything.
Join us on the bleachers!
This is where you sign up for your own special seat on the bleachers.
You'll get every new blog post hand-delivered to your inbox, and you'll also get the *cool, free stuff* reserved only for subscribers.
(It's sort of like VIP, club-level tickets.) (Except totally free.)